Saturday, January 19, 2013

I am brave

I started this post on Monday. I didn't want to post it yet, because I wasn't sure how the week was going to play out. But now I know, and I will finish the story at the end:

Monday, January 14:
I did something today. It was big. And nerve-wracking. And scary. And quick.

I talked to my boss today about going part-time. And I felt calm and peaceful and happy after I did it.

I know, it's not a for sure thing yet. We still have to talk to the bigger boss.

But I did it. I dared to think that I could have a life other than Ziplocal/PDC/Phone Directories.

I have been thinking about this, seriously, for a month or two. I have been wanting to do something like this for a lot longer than that. I need a change in my life.

I like my job. It is easy. It is comfortable. It is familiar. And it is not a challenge at all anymore.

So when Jeanette and Matt (mostly Matt) start planning my life for me again, we concoct this plan. And I totally go for it. See, it is a win for both of us.

I need a change. They need a nanny. And a personal assistant. And housekeeper. And chauffeur.

So that's what I'm going to do. I will work at Ziplocal 3 days a week. And the other two days I will be the Bennett Nanny. Or the Lola Nanny I should say.

It is scary because there are unknowns about it all. I will be giving up my benefits and paid time off at Ziplocal by going part time. I don't know exactly how it is going to work with Bennett's all the time. Will I still have enough money? Will we still be friends, even after being employee/employer?

Why am I willing to give up a perfectly good full time job? Sometimes when I think about it too long I feel panicky, and want to back out and say, just kidding! I don't want to do this. I think I'm crazy. I am giving up my very predictable, very stable (I guess that's somewhat debatable), very familiar, very easy job. For what?

For something new. Predictable, stable, familiar, easy aren't all there is to life. I need to take this leap of faith. I need to remember that there is more to life than Ziplocal. I can do something different. I am capable of this. And I am capable to doing a good job at this. And I am also capable of figuring out a new plan after this gig is over in a year and a half.

I just need to not let the panic take over.

deep breath in. deep breath out. It is all going to work out.

Sunday, January 20:
So things worked out better than I had hoped. I got over my panicked feelings about doing this. Change is just hard sometimes and I think that's what was scaring me more than anything.

The big boss loved the idea and was happy to give her okay on the plan. (Can I just say here that I am grateful for the right people in the right places that made this possible. I have asked before to do something similar to this and I got resounding no's from my bosses.)

The rest of the week was spent figuring out details, like when to start this new schedule, what days to work where, insurance switcheroo, etc.

I am planning to be the nanny on Monday and Wednesday, and do Ziplocal on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. That could change as needs change, of course.

I am planning to start this week, but still have paperwork to sign at work so we'll see how that goes. Hopefully we can do that tomorrow and then I'll be good to go.

It has been interesting to me to see the reactions about this from the people I have told. Overwhelmingly, people are excited and happy for me. I was telling the YW president in my ward, and she said, "it must be the right thing to do because things fell into place so easily." I liked that thought. She was also worried about me being able to go to girls camp this summer. I told her that wouldn't be a problem. I will not miss girls camp for anything.

So, this week is the beginning of a new era for me. I get to hang out with cute Lola more, which I couldn't be happier about. I get to relieve just a little of the burden that Jeanette is dealing with, with her very busy life. I will not be tied down to working 40 hours at my job that was taking me many fewer hours than that to complete.

I feel empowered in my life. I took a leap of faith and asked for something that I needed and wanted, something that could have jeopardized my job if viewed in the wrong way. But I was blessed instead. And I am so grateful for that.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

What to say...

I want to post something today, but I honestly have nothing to say. I feel like my life isn't that exciting to write about. I thought about posting about my recent crafty projects, but I don't have any good pictures of them. Well, I may have one or two I could use.

I could tell you about my Christmas trip. Maybe I'll do that. I also don't have many good photos, but I'll use what I have. Maybe it should be a goal for this year to take more pictures.

I went with my parents to Medford Oregon to spend Christmas with my sister Sharon and her cute family. We left on Friday, Dec 21, from Salt Lake. We went to Elko that day, which was a quick and easy drive. The next day was not the greatest. The roads were snow covered for long stretches, which made for tense driving. Luckily my dad was driving, and he is a good driver, so I wasn't worried. I also woke up that morning feeling pretty sick. In fact, I hadn't really slept that well all night. I wasn't sure how I was going to handle the 11 hour drive, so I asked my dad to give me a blessing. Which was the miracle we needed that day. I didn't feel great, didn't eat much all day, but I survived. And, the best Christmas miracle of all was that no one else got sick while we were at my sister's.

Medford is a beautiful place. We didn't get to see too much of it, since it was always foggy or rainy while we were there. The temple is beautiful. Sharon goes to church right next to the church. Lily did not want to go to Primary alone, so I got to be her buddy. It was fun to watch her with her teacher and peers.

Christmas Eve we went to a few fun places. Sharon took us to the Rogue Creamery, to taste the award winning bleu cheese there. We also got some yummy cheese curds. And just next door was Lille Belle Chocolates. We had to go check it out too. Dad tried their sample of 3-hottest-chilies chocolate - we aren't sure why he did that. But the other samples were delicious.

Our last stop was the Harry & David Country Store. That was really fun. It is kind of like a specialty grocery store, with good produce, plus all the other Harry & David products. They were giving out lots of samples, so we got to try a few fun things.

When we got home, we had naptime for a few hours, then we started the Christmas Eve festivities. We made gingerbread trees (ice cream cones upside down), which the little girls loved. The boys were watching a movie and couldn't be bothered, so all of us girls made one, or two. And ate lots of the candy too. (That's what you are supposed to do when decorating gingerbread trees, right?) We opened Christmas pj's - for Lily & Ella, and me and Sharon, thanks to Rob!

Lily hugging her Christmas pj's on Christmas Eve. I know it's not a great picture, but I was fairly unsuccessful in getting good pictures of these girls. They don't sit still long enough.
Christmas morning was fun. I like being with little kids on Christmas morning, they are always so excited about everything. And Lily did a good job of being excited. Ella did too, but Lily was more involved and understood more what was going on. They both got lots of fun toys. I got a couple of books from Rachelle, the Parenthood season 1 dvds from Sharon, shampoo & conditioner & lotion & such from Jeanette. I had already opened my snow shoes a few days earlier, so we didn't have to bring them on the trip. Thanks to mom and dad and Rachelle and Jeanette for them.

Here's the living room after the present opening on Christmas morning. Lily is wearing the hat I made for her. Rob is checking out his new saw he got for Christmas.
The rest of Christmas day was just a quiet day at their house. Mom and Lily and I went on a walk around the neighborhood, because the rain had finally stopped.

It was so fun to see Sharon's new house, and her new town. I must say I like it lots better than her last town. I will come back to Medford to visit. And i love that it is so close to the ocean.

Wednesday morning we left Sharon's house, and headed south to California. We took the long way, and drove out to the coast, at Crescent City. It was rainy and cold and really windy, but we still got out and walked around a little bit. And the wind and rain continued all day long. We stopped at a few more places along the way. Drove through the Redwood Forest. Ate lunch in Eureka at the Sea Grill restaurant.

We made it to Napa, to my grandpa Rod's house, that evening. I was excited, and nervous, to see him. He is in the advancing stages of Alzheimer's disease, so I was nervous to see him like that. And it was about how I was imagining things. He is pretty disoriented most of the time. Sleeps a lot. I'm not sure he really knew who we were.

The next day, Thursday, we did take him for a drive around Napa valley, and it seemed like he was more aware of what was going on then. He was joking and talking to us more. The grandpa I know came out for a little while. But it didn't last.

We toured one of the assisted living centers that Grandma Sharon is trying to get him into. She has been taking care of him for many years, and it is time for this change. She is tired, and he is getting harder to take care of. It is sad to think about him having to move, but I think it is for the best. The place we visited was really nice, and we liked the director who talked to us and gave us a tour.

Saturday started really early, like 3:30 am early. Yes, my parents are early risers, and early travelers. So we got up and quickly showered and packed up. We were in the car pulling out of the driveway at 4:21 am. My dad had been worried about driving over Donner's Pass, since there had been storms and bad roads in the days before we headed that way. But luckily we picked a good day to travel it, because we saw snow on the side of the road, but none on the road, at least until we got over the pass and down into Reno. There was snow on the roads in Reno, but I don't think it lasted for too long. We ate breakfast in Reno, at 7:30 am.

And then the next 9 hours are pretty much a blur. Snow. Road. Knitting. Reading. Talking. Gas stop in Winnemucca. Lunch stop in Elko. Passed the Fun Bus broken down on the side of the road. Boston Baked Beans. Caffeine Free Diet Coke.

I was done with the car, done with driving, by the time we got back to my house about 5 pm. I was glad it was not midnight, but it was still a long, boring drive.

But I'm so glad I got to go on this trip. It made for a different Christmas than normal, but it was good different. New experiences. More memories.

And now I can say that I saw the Pacific Ocean and the Atlantic Ocean in 2012.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

The best is yet to be...

This quote was a gift from one of my sisters for Christmas this year. I now have it hanging by my desk at work as a daily reminder for me.

There are good things coming in my life. My best days are not in my past. I am excited to see where this year is going to take me.

The best is yet to be.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

January 1, 2013

I have been a hermit the last 3 days, and I really liked it. I spent the first day reading The Guardian, a book my sister Rachelle gave me for Christmas. Yes, it is about 500 pages and yes, I finished it in 24 hours. And yes, I didn't do much of anything else during that time, except go to church.

The last two days have been spent watching Parenthood season 1. I just watched 3 episodes this evening, finishing at about 9 pm. I turned the video off and back to tv, and ironically the new episode of Parenthood was just starting on NBC tonight. So now I'm watching that. I may or may not be a little bit on overload with this show. I still love it, of course, but I may not need to watch it again for a few days.

I have an obsessive personality with things like this. I can't just read a few pages here and there of a good book. I neglect the rest of my life to read, or watch, whatever it is.

But I think it has been good for me the last few days. I needed a few days to just do nothing. Be home. Clean. Eat. Read. Watch tv. Fix the feng shui in my basement. Well, I didn't get very far on that one, but I tried.

And I took down most of my Christmas decorations. I did leave the lights up for now. They make me happy so I didn't want to put them away yet. And I left my hanging ornaments above my stairs for now. Because that one really makes me happy.

I left one decoration up all year last year. Mostly out of laziness and forgetfulness. I'm thinking I will take that one down this year too. But for now, that one is still up too. I didn't want to do too much today. I have to pace myself.

And now it's back to work tomorrow.

New Year's Eve

It is 10:23 pm on New Year's Eve 2012. I am at home, alone (by my own choice), watching season 1 of Parenthood - a gift from my cute little sister. I am currently on episode 3. I have spent all day by myself, and I've had a great day. I went to Trader Joe's in SLC this morning. I'd been to other Trader Joe's before, but this time I was able to walk up and down each aisle and look at all the random amazing fun things there. Then I stopped at my favorite little consignment shop on 8th South & 8th East, Emilie Jayne. I always head right for the "green" section of the store to see if there's anything I need, then I wander the rest of the store. I found a few fun things I couldn't live without - a mug tree, an ice cube tray shaped like arrows, and a glass frog (I think that's what it's called - a glass circle with holes all over it to put pens in it).

I've been home all afternoon, enjoying a quiet day doing some random things. I tried out my new snowshoes I got for Christmas from my family. In my backyard.

I'm excited to really try them out. Hopefully this weekend I'll go find someplace to explore.

I started reading my Grandpa Rod's history that I got last week when I went to visit him. I learned that he lived in Salt Lake valley with his family until he was 13, before he moved back to Cache Valley. I had always known that his family was from Cache Valley, for generations back. But when his parents got married they lived in Salt Lake, trying to make a life for themselves there. When the depression was bad, they were struggling, and decided to move back to Hyde Park, closer to their families.

I'm excited to learn more about his side of the family. I have been fully engrossed in the Reeve side of my family for the last 4 years, living with my grandpa here. But I feel like I don't know much about the Waite side of the family. I got a few things from my grandpa's house, so I will hopefully learn some more things.

I put up my spoon collection, or some of it. I don't have enough spoon holders for all of them. 

Some of my spoons from Wyoming. The little one on the right is my very first spoon I got, if my memory is correct.

I bought some new spoons in Napa last week, so I was looking at my collection. I have close to 85 spoons now. Since I had them all out, I decided to take pictures of them. I want to make a little catalog book, with a description of where and when I got the spoons - if I can remember those details. That could be a project for tomorrow.

So now it's 11:39. I guess I can't watch tv and write at the same time.

I was reading a blog this morning and saw this quote that I really like. It is fitting for today.

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.” - Neil Geiman

 I like new years, as a time to think about life, and what I want to change or do differently. And about the things I've done this year, the good things. I started a 2012 year in review a few weeks ago. Maybe I should finish that tomorrow. Or Wednesday. 

I haven't made any specific resolutions, yet. I may still do it. But, I just feel like tomorrow is a new beginning. Yes, I know every day is a new beginning, but there is something different about a whole new year. A new chance to do things right. To start some new habits. To get rid of bad habits. 

One thing I want to do this year is write more on this blog. 

So, I'm starting the new year on a good note. A new blog post written. 

Time to watch the ball drop on tv and listen to the fireworks go off outside. (Well, I've been hearing the fireworks for several hours already.)

Happy New Year!