Mary & John Reeve Letters, No. 7

Provo, Utah April 29, 1915

Mr. John Reeve

Hinckley, Utah

Dear Brother:

Why can’t I say what I should? But dear if I ever wanted the freedom of expression I do tonight. If I was inspired when I wrote “A One” I feel I am doubly so tonight tho I doubt if I can say what I feel. But if I were with you I think I could talk without my heart were too sore because of the anxiety I have caused you, Won’t you forgive that and with your help and God’s I shall try to never again encourage such pernicious sentiments – pernicious because they are not of Him!

But why didn’t you get my letter yesterday? I have received one every day since my return and I have been so pleased to be remembered, tho it goes without saying that I did not deserve such respect – But I will be! And now dear. I feel that I can face anything for you, be it interference, debt, poverty, hardship in whatever form it may come. I need just this to show me I am no cad! I was hard on you, but it was a very bitter disappointment to me to find myself so weak.

Oh! Say! Things happen every day and tho I feel some of them are directly providential, Yet I feel small that I need so much urging! Yesterday I went to town to get that wax and post your letter. On the way to school – went into the millinery store to look at a hat. The proprietor is Nellie Taylor, a former wife of Apostle John W. Taylor. Well, one thing led to another, She has recently left our Ward. Spoke of her regard for our Bp. I told you of him didn’t I? Then she said she didn’t feel as some do about his approaching marriage. Then says “say Mary, God often gives us college lessons while we are yet in the grades and tho they are stupendous and crushing they often are made of the material with which our eternal reward is secured. When my marriage came to me, It was the most stridant event that ever came into my life. But dark, bitter and hard as it was, it was right and I took the step and I have never regretted it.” And I thot thank God that His estimate of me is such that He deems me worthy to take what many appear to many to be too great and steep to be considered! Now that is only one item. She said that to me without any knowledge of my situation – merely a machine to help throw the light on the correct screen at the proper time and place.

Well I had a small official office to perform with our disciplinarian, and he is a very congenial man. And among common place remarks, later picked up these verses and read them to me. They appealed to me as being of some literary value. But – their message screamed to me your bravery and heroism in offering me a place where I can be of service with a companion whom I can respect, honor, and whom I feel I do now nearly love, will later, for it is coming all the time! And I’m sure I’d kiss you again now if you were here. Is that the message you want to hear?

Oh! Those are only two! I could tell you others! But I’ll do that later. Yes dear true to my understanding I wrote you Tuesday and yesterday too. I’m glad you trust my promise. Monday and Tuesday I was laid by for a number of reasons. But I feel well today. Tho people at school tell me I look like I’d been in the hospital. But tho I’ve had some physical pain my mental anguish was most telling. And you know why! Now, dear, I’m wondering what that great big surprise is you’re going to spring on me soon! And I’m trying to keep myself in readiness for anything that may happen, hoping I’ll hear again so I can meet you before long if you come to Richfield – Find it is about as far away as Delta and takes much longer to get there. But I’m waiting your letter tomorrow. And hope you’ve gotten mine before now. Yes, dear, I smile at who I think will very likely be married to John Reeve in June! I think maybe the writer may have to give consent to even Miss Stevens now! June sure! Tho the folks want me to come home. I’ll go where you want me to go! With love and prayers and best wishes. I am as ever

Mary

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Hinckley, Utah, May 1, 1915

My Dear Mary:

“A 1” takes a back seat to-day sure. Paul says something about being caught up into the third heaven. Well I’m satisfied with where I am right now.

Say, dear, I was joking Ellen Lyman to-day at Priesthood meeting about her husband taking a Lyman out of this Stake. I finally told her that I’d bring a better one back.

Well, yesterday and to-day they’ve been trying to hold the mutual meet here. But the snow stopped the outdoor events yesterday, and it is doing it again today. Afton had no competition so she won. Tho the judges called it more of a sketch than a speech and didn’t give her quite as much commendation that they might have done.

If I’d been permitted the pleasure of the company of the sweetest girl in the world I would have gone to the dance last night. But as it was I accepted the invitation of Bro. Gardner, and so I took all the children – and went to the show, and I couldn’t think of going to the dance without you to-night, So I’ll stay at home and read the letter that out climaxes the climax, The one that eclipses the sun, and if I don’t quit reading it right now, you won’t get a letter to-morrow. For the fact is I can’t quit long enough to write this letter. Yes, dear, this letter contains the message that my soul delights to hear. It can’t be beaten in the world.

Now, dear, that is a beautiful poem, and I’m just going to repeat the last verse, because it breathes my sentiments too intensely: “Give me your hand…And the Strength that is there, Shall waken my own anew. I can force the fight and win, by the Gods, But not for myself…for you.”

I didn’t get a letter, yesterday, either – I mention this not by way of complaint, But by way of warning – in case, by any reason my letters cease coming to you or yours to me, we must not doubt each other’s fidelity and confidence.

Speaking of love, my queen, if there’s a more genuine definition of it in all the pages of human history than what you’ve expressed in the following lines, I’d like to see it. It can’t be found. This is purely and sacredly divine: “I feel I can face anything for you, be it interference, gossip, debt, poverty, hardship in whatever form it may come.” Say, my dear, as I think of you making such an expression as that I am reminded of Hamlet’s tribute to his own father, “A combination and a form, indeed, where every God did seem to set his seal.” Such is what I think of you.

May heaven bless you, in body, mind and heart, is the sincere wish of your very devoted and affectionate lover.

John

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Provo, Utah April 30, 1915

Mr. John Reeve

Hinckley, Utah

Dear Brother Reeve,

As I read over your letters, I notice that you do not tell me you love me except in an off hand way and in my first one you said you wanted to. Now what I am coming to is this. I think I see thru it all. And if it were a problem I should proceed to solve it in this way. The man who has asked me to be his wife is one who is above the common run – One who is elevated above the class who allows one’s personal feelings to dominate every item of existence and is carried along the line of least resistance. Your attitude in this as well as in your ennobling love for Sister Emma points out to me your superiority and shows me plainly you are not the creature of circumstances that in all your varying experiences, You never lose sight of the ennobling purpose God has implanted in your heart and soul and the which carefully nurture and care for feeling that God never demands more of His children than He feels they require for the accomplishment of His purpose for them. And these things make me feel and determinedly resolve that I’ll not disappoint Him – That these affairs on earth that press upon us show me what is right and I thank God He points the way to well nigh insufferable obstacles to show me I’m a woman. I can meet what is best and I trust implicitly on His care to bring me thru and I feel dear J.R. with you I can and will be working out God’s designs for me. And sure as the world if you were here I’d kiss you twice! And I wish you were. Am I not progressing nicely?

May 1^st. You rascal. I’d thought of everything under the sun. But this last proposition outdistances them all! But I can’t answer now. I’m on my to American to a faculty party and shall answer you later. But you are the most insurmountable of all objects I ever met. But I love you the more for that and between the two I feel we’ll pull off a pretty big stunt down there in Hinckley! I will write to Uncle Marion and see what the chances are he could marry us on May 18 – which was mother’s wedding day. But excuse haste now. I’ve never cut you off before, but will have to now. Please don’t forget to write me every day. I’m afraid I’m getting terribly in earnest. But you don’t care. You say you don’t. Neither do I! Don’t worry about those infernal items. I think they’ve departed.

With love

Mary

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Sunday Morning, 8 a.m. 5-2-15

My Dear Mary,

I am just ready, with Bros. Robison and Wright to go to visit the Sutherland SS. – the little group of houses out north, where you and I went that day you came. I wish I had the same companion today. Oh! How I do enjoy your company. Yes, the most enjoyable, companionable companion to be found in all the world for me!

Say, dear, do you know I am booking those kisses, so I’ll have a sweet little bunch coming to me when I get up there, and if I should happen to make an overdraft I’ll return them with interest.

You will pardon me for not mentioning money matters before. But I hope you’ll be perfectly frank with me, and tell me if you need any in preparing for the great event.

With love,

John

Hinckley, Utah  Sunday night 5-2-15

My dear Mary:

Upon my return about 7 to-night I was greeted by your beautiful letter, and I wish I had language to express to you my full appreciation of that letter. But God knows I’d like to be worthy of the tribute you have paid me, and with His help and the influence of your beautiful life upon mine I will be worthy of it.

I’m thinking just now of the climax of our last Sunday night’s meeting with each other, And how you didn’t resist the farewell kiss. And that you opened your window to greet me still again, And then coupling that with your closing statement in this letter about the “items departing”, I feel so inexpressibly happy that words blunder in trying to express it. However, I perceive in you something too deep to fathom. Not because of its puzzling nature. But because of the wealth of human tenderness and sublime devotion and confidence in the unfailing purposes of the Almighty, which, like a perpetual fountain is constantly sending forth a stream of absolute unselfishness.

But say dear, do you know how breathlessly I’ve waited the answer to that mysterious letter, and the way you started the answer “rascal” tickles me all over. And I’m real sure that I love you the more for it. However I shall still wait very anxiously the complete answer, But it must be very plain to you, dear, that if this is deferred till the date you suggest, 18^th, one week of genuine sublimity will have been lost – gone beyond recall. However I’ll not be arbitrary on that point, since the 18^th is such a significant date.

Monday Noon

Am just about ready to start for Richfield. Mark, Carlyle, and Florence are going, and to stay.

Do you know I was sorry when I woke up this morning, Because I had such a pretty dream about you – I thought I heard the music of your voice again – But dreams come true, And I’m sure I’ll not be disappointed in this one.

Now, my dear, I feel that I must make certain explanations to my folks over there. I’ll tell them all about you and I’m sure they’ll be well pleased – Tell them no definite date, But give them to know that it will be soon, alright?

Of course as I interpret your letter the date will be on May the 18^th, which will be agreeable with me, But it seems that I’ll not know definitely till you hear from Uncle Marion, So I’ll likely get home before I could get the information from you.

I’ll not be in a condition to write you every day on this trip. But will write you from Richfield.

I didn’t get a letter from you this morning. But my confidence is firm and unshaken in you. So I shall take your last two letters with me upon which I shall feast my heart till I return the latter part of the week. So until then I shall say to you my beloved, Be of good cheer, cherish peace in your soul, for my heart is so anxious to speak to you the sweetest message in the world – Love, So I am living and shall continue to live fondly in the memory of you, Whom I so dearly love

Very affectionately yours

John

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Richfield, Utah  May 6, 1915

My Beloved Mary,

If I can translate my thots into words I’d like to tell you how I feel. But first let me say I had a very fine wake with Mary last night – not my Mary, But Will’s. However, I detailed to her the sweet story of our courtship days, And if you could have eavesdropped us, The following would never be written and you would have been converted that what I’m going to say is not overdrawn in the least.

I could have used a lot of description words in describing you, But I didn’t. I simply told her what others had told me of you. I quoted freely your own language, especially your unselfish devotion to principle in approaching this mission. The recognition on your part of the seriousness and magnitude of its accompanying responsibility, And especially would your heart have swelled with emotion as I related the little introductory scene with Florence. It was then that Mary’s eyes glistened and her whole being manifested the deepest admiration for the real worth of the woman whose heart and hand I am seeking so eagerly to win. And with all the power of language at her command did she endeavor to express that admiration.

And as I tried to tell how the hand of God had led our paths and our lives together, The same sweet spirit that had brought conviction to our souls made her feel that the Almighty had and was inspiring the movement.

Now, my dear, that in brief is the story, But it has added to my testimony of the Divinity of our mission together, and as I stand gazing into the inpenetrable future my heart goes out in praise and thanksgiving to Him whose purposes are wise and fail not only as we His children neglect their part.

The first night from home I had a real nice visit with Emma’s brother at Holden, And the next with Jake’s folks at Aurora and last night here, and it was one continual line of warmth and good feeling for us, and as I think of it now, I wish I had arranged for your visit here, For I can plainly see how very warmly you would have been welcomed.

In my waking hours I find enthroned in my thots and feelings a real Queen – one to whom I shall ever owe a debt of gratitude, and one for whom I shall ever praise God. For His great kindness to me in sending you into my life. And in my dreams I seem to be in my feelings so intensely happy, and this moment if I could have the sweet embrace and the inspiring look from the windows of the soul which has aroused mine to all that is noble and unselfishly sublime in your life, I could feel to be the wealthiest man in the world.

Dear, if I don’t close now, You’ll not get this letter to-morrow, for the train leaves here shortly, and I do so want you to get this soon, and in the morning I shall leave for home, and shall look forward with extreme pleasure not only for an answer to this letter, But from the ones at home now awaiting for me, But from the one from Uncle Marion, So I’ll know what our little program is.

So I’ll close praying that the sweet spirit of God may bring the sunshine of peace to your lovely soul, For I trust you, and have full confidence in the integrity of your soul.

With tender, grateful love and affection for you

I am sincerely

John

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Mary & John Reeve Letters, No. 6

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Provo, Utah April 27, 1915

Dear Brother:

Arrived home safe and sound. Received your letter, Thank you, perceive it was written because it was promised, Will write more soon won’t you? I have not been to school yet. Expect to start tomorrow if all is well; just been having a rest! Don’t worry!

Am glad you can sleep you haven’t shown the white feather! I’m willing to take that for I know I deserve a far more severe reprimand than you seem inclined to give! Wish you would, and I’d think more of you, -- For when I’m at my worst I need a good sound tongue lashing – You’ve seen me at my worst now. – Can you think me an angel in spite of such a weakness? I’m very much humiliated at my conduct from the first – please forgive me!

As ever

(signed) Mary

(This letter written on a 2”x3” card both sides)

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Provo, Utah April 28, 1915

Mr. John Reeve

            Hinckley, Utah

Dear Brother Reeve:

Your letter of the 27^th came today – Thank you so much – What reparation can I make to you for my attitude Sunday? But I’ll not doubt your love for me – And if I had your face here I’m quite sure I’d kiss it and mean it. For you have proven you can meet my silly moods in such a way as to very nearly show me how very babyish I am. For you have acted – as I should have acted – But dear J.R. there is something I wish I could tell you, maybe I can.

You are so magnanimous and in comparison I feel my actions have been cowardly – And I don’t want to be that and so I want you to talk more severely to me I need it. And it will help me to live above it. But that something is still there and just as soon dear as I can convince myself that it is “one of those infernal items” – I feel God being my helper I can over look and be very much ashamed that I ever allowed it to have such importance as to cause you a moments unhappiness. I believe dear if I had been well I could have warded that off until we were better acquainted and then our visit together could have been so much more profitable. And say dear J. R. I believe your advice is sound, And I think I come nearer loving you because of it. And when you tell me so earnestly that you love me and that God has given me to you. And that I love you. It does mean something and I trust God to show me what it means – When you say such things it leaves me feeling better – And I feel maybe my mistake is in doubting its validity.

Now dear regarding those promises of yours, What are they? I want to help you fulfill them you ought to know that much. – Whether it is love or just keenest interest I cannot say. But you and your success; - to me means much now, and I want to help you, - And win the love and confidence of the children and your mother and the rest, for I feel this is my life’s mission now – by you, with you, and for you, and yours, and no matter what it means to me I feel that is right – tho at times I am crushed at the thot that I am so poorly prepared for my task that it is torture to know what is my task? But dear it may be that Satan is content to lay low till he sees some vital step and then he places on his thumb screws and the distant goal is obscured by the present pain – Oh! God! J.R. help me to steer my course straight regardless of what it costs me!

Now dear if you come to Richfield I wish I could see you again – can’t we arrange it somewhere between here and there. Write right back and tell me all, So I can get some repose – do you know I’ve never known a minute’s peace since I left you. Satan tells me it is my mistake in being so easily disturbed, - But you, and shall I say such a nature as mine must meet great disturbances to be disciplined properly and maybe during this period of transition I must be tried in numerous ways. If you mean what you say, dear, you’d be very glad you sent that letter yesterday – for it shapes my forebodings better than I could myself – and I feel probably that God doesn’t make mistakes and that He will help us, But you’ve no idea how weak I am. But for your sake dear I’m going to make a great attempt to crush all this doubt out and try to see only thru the eyes that will give me pleasure in my life with you, to think of nothing that will detract from my happiness, and trust God to keep me from being calloused and hardened in my effort to be brave – For there is always you know danger in resignation. Now dear I must close – don’t send my letter yet to Albert. There’s no hurry. Please write again at once. I’ll try & get some sealing wax & send some, use it if I do. Please write again and tell me if you are coming up as far as Richfield and then we’ll decide what to tell the folks there. I haven’t been well since my return am better today. God Bless you dear brother – and He will I know He will. With best wishes and prayers for you

I am

(signed) Mary

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Hinckley, Utah, April 29, 1915

My dear Mary – “My cup runneth over,” “Hope sees a star,” And today I’m very happy.

Your two letters came today, And I’m furnished again with some very fine reading matter. Thank you very much.

Do you know what I’ve been doing for the last twenty four hours? No, guess again. Give it up? Alright then I’ll tell you. I’ve been making a psychological experiment, by assuming that I should not marry you. I presented a long list of reasons, first physically disqualified, second natures uncongenial, and a whole list of others to defend my position. Now what do you think the effect of that imaginary battle was on my mind? Why I could almost have given you up without even being disturbed. I wouldn’t think of trying such an experiment again. What’s the lesson? A man becomes as he assumes as he thinks, as he argues.

A long while ago, I used to take the villain’s part in our dramatics, and don’t you know that I’d have been a full fledged villain by this if I’d kept that up; But I swore off, and I told them I’d never take it again. And I haven’t.

But hold on. I’m making and have been making a mountain out of a molehill, and so I’ll stop, bury the hatchet, smoke the pipe of peace and away we go.

Permit me to say that I am very sorry that you’ve been ill, But hope and pray that ere this you are feeling well again.

Relative to the confidence of my mother I wish to say, you need have no fear about that, For you have already made a profound impression on her, for she told me this very day, She believed you to be a mighty fine woman, and so do I.

Now, you may be curious to know about the letter I promised yesterday. Well it is written. But it won’t be posted for awhile at least. The fact is however, it is an advanced substitute for the proposed idea of our meeting on this Richfield trip. However I’ll take it under very careful and prayerful consideration, And if I decide to spring that on you rather than have you come to Richfield Sunday I’ll write you to-morrow. Then you’ll know what to do.

Relative to the promises, dear. I’ll tell you about those when we meet. In the meantime please congratulate me on being the most fortunate man in the world.

Very affectionately

(signed) John

P.S. I am sending my letter to Albert, Which please correct, burn or send to him as you choose.

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Hinckley, Utah 4-28-15

My Dear Mary:

Now, for Yesterday’s promise. Brace up. “The woman who hesitates is lost” so don’t hesitate, But agree with me quickly. “Jesus said, whatsoever thou doest, do it quickly,” “Delays are dangerous” lest perchance the “infernal items” seek to defeat righteous purposes. First let me quote from letter “A1” again: “I had known that thing (that God ordained our marriage) three days before, and had been happy in the knowledge of it.” Further, “my longing to be with you now, and as you are to be my captain from now on, I await your further orders, - It was a something beyond all of them that grips my heart strings, and makes me say Yes to all your appeals, and I say it feeling that the God of destiny has led our paths together.” “My whole life has conspired toward this end.” “I am ready for your next move.” The climax of my prayer and supplication came to me in the night – ‘that is your path now’.

Now, dear I shall doubly underline the passage that gives me the indisputable right to say what I am now going to say: You will meet me, at the Provo depot next Wednesday (May 5^th) morning – same train as you went upon, And go on to Salt Lake City with me, That we may be married in the Temple, same day, if possible. And if you wish it, We can return same night or next morning, You detrain at Provo, I come on home. Further details to be arranged when we meet.

Now, please write and tell me you will not fail to meet me, For you must come, or else I land in Provo Sunday morning to press my case, and I’m sure you’d rather do that than to battle with me, For I’d win finally anyway wouldn’t I?

Now, my dear, I don’t want to be arbitrary in this matter, But I’m sure you can see that nothing can be gained by waiting any longer, And perhaps a whole lot may be lost by unnecessary delays. And the stakes are too great for us to take a chance on losing by delay. Don’t you think so?

Friday 30^th

My Dear Mary:

You see that I have sent you the famous letter, But owing to the fact that a fierce snow storm is now raging, my Richfield trip is delayed to a point as would make it almost impossible for me to land Wednesday the 5^th So we’ll fix the date the 12^th of May one week later. And if you are disappointed by the delay, please remember I am doubly so.

Please let me quote one passage from yesterday’s letter. “Satan is content to lay low till he sees some vital step and then he places on his thumb screws and this distant goal is obscured by the present pain.” So my dear sweetheart, I caution you to beware of his infernal “thumb screws” the minute you read this letter – so beware! Beware don’t let him have one turn even, for if he gets one, he’ll get another, and another and so on until you’ll be inextricably bound, so beware and don’t let him, but yield to me please.

Notwithstanding, the fierce storm which is raging without, inwardly the weather is beautiful – calm as a summer’s morning where the flowers of hope are blooming, birds are singing, and the music of love is filling the air, Because I’m living in a world with you, dear and it seems to me I’m making you feel as happy as you are me, So as it is nearly mail time I’ll close with the tenderest, sweetest wish for your present and eternal happiness.

With Love, John

P.O. Please, dear, don’t delay, An answer to this on account of my proposed trip to Richfield, as I may not go for several days. But I’ll land back in time to fill the appointment. I’m going by team, and it takes 5 days to make the round trip. Say, Mary, any suggestion or assistance you can render about the details of this big trip, Please don’t fail to mention it will you?

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Mary & John Reeve Letters, No. 5

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Provo, Utah April 21^st  1915

Mr. John Reeve,

            Hinckley, Utah

Dear Brother Reeve:

In my hurry last night I didn’t say half I wanted. But Aunt Emma came before I was thru. So I shall take your message to heart and write again. And if I should appear reticent or unresponsive attribute it to anything but my feelings in this respect. And yet I do not expect as much bliss as I wish I did, But really I feel the fault lies with me. For I realize all too keenly that God’s hands has had our case under consideration, And so I want by your assistance to be as appreciative as is possible, And trust that His finger will ever point out our path; But I’m afraid you overestimate my worth and I can’t see why you should. As I have been perfectly frank with you and it would crush my life out if after I have linked it with yours, That any such thing should happen as you cease to love me or be disappointed in me, - If it were infidelity or a kindred evil I’d never attempt to stand it, But for such as that, where I alone would be responsible I’d have to endure it in torture, - But I suppose I’m rather pessimistic regarding such things – Probably because of experience and my feeling that a happy marriage was not for me. But shall I switch into line and change the subject. But I feel intuitively you are one of God’s noblemen and that He has greatly complimented me by throw our paths together and I try to be not ungrateful! And I am satisfied that whatever we decide to do will be right!

Regarding these bills – Why did you do it. You take an undue advantage of me and yet I feel you are right. Tho if it had ever been anyone else I could not take it kindly. But we’ll talk about that later! If you do meet me don’t you dare remember I’m anything but an acquaintance, - and then, - I may forget it myself soon enough – do you see! As regards your getting ready for my coming – think it is better as it is – for I want to see it all; And a Divine power sustains me, even tho conditions may be rather discouraging.

No one here with two exceptions know a thing about this, even here at home I tell them I’m going to Salt Lake Friday and they don’t suspect a thing, Strange I don’t want to sing it on the housetops isn’t it! Saturday one has so many loose ends to catch up – But I kept a watch outside and when the mail was in sight I let him put the letter – somehow I knew it was for me – just inside the door, And I forgot how weary I was and I thot of David Copperfield and his dora! And Monday I caught the carrier again. But I was not expecting one yesterday and Mrs. Speckhart remarked about John Reeve being a good writer. But said she could tell there were bills in it And then I told her you were making a purchase thru me and she subsided. So you see deception is a vice you hadn’t reckoned on in me isn’t it! And when I read the thing over, I wonder if Edith isn’t half right. If I’m not rather fortunate. You certainly seem to know just how to understand what and how I feel and so very few do, - And now I shall be pleased to come – But if I am more quiet than you expect don’t take exceptions to it. And don’t doubt sincerity!

Now I must close, Give my love to your mother and as I leave here at 10:25 a.m. Friday if you can’t get me a letter by Friday morning don’t send any and I’ll try and stand it till I see you at 2 pm in Delta. Wish you’d tell me just how you are getting along with everything! Just now got a letter from Sister Rose saying she’d be so pleased to have me make headquarters there while I am in Hinckley, Shall write her at once. Shall say good bye now and with best and kindest wishes.

As Ever

(signed) Mary

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Hinckley, Utah 4-26-15

My dear Mary,

Something about the last twenty minutes! Of my visit with you affected me to the extent of producing sleep for I slept nearly all the way home.

This morning I was instructing the children as to what to say to any question concerning Sister Lyman’s presence that they don’t know one thing. Fred said, “me do”. I said to myself, I wish I knew. I thot I did up till yesterday. But now it seems that I know that I don’t know. However, as long as I feel that I have God on my side I’m not going to show the white feather; For I intend to keep up a continuous battle against the “infernal items”.

As long as I can keep back the thots of our yesterday’s association up till the few minutes before I said goodbye, I feel fine. But how they do crowd into my mind as I am trying to write this letter. And of course I shouldn’t write them, For I said my say last night, And I don’t know what else I can say, For it seems to me now, That the say is all left with you and I shall feverishly await tomorrow’s message from you.

Harold Bell Wright makes one of his characters say, “Somethings, thank God, are beyond the damning power of man’s improvement to improve.” Now, my dear sister let us assume, (But Oh No! We don’t have to assume) that God did fore ordain that we should march together in this grand matrimonial march, how could it be improved by canceling it? But say what’s the use of arguing that point? You can’t doubt it, No one, In the face of the evidence, could it seems to me. And yet as I try to recall anything you have said or written I can’t remember one single statement you have made doubting the divinity of the call; But in every case you seem so positive of its being divine.

I am hoping that tomorrow’s mail will bring the message my heart is longing to receive. So till then let me say good bye. And may the Spirit of God whisper to your soul the very message you should send me.

Very affectionately I am yours sincerely

(Signed) J. R.

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Hinckley, Utah 4-27-15

My Dear Mary:

Your letter came not today, and how I can write another without a line from you I don’t know, But true to my promise to you I’ll try.

In the first place I have your written promise that you will be my wife, and it is that promise and that alone that sustains me, Gives me hope, courage, and an unyielding determination not to give you up. I am sublimely happy in your presence, and in the thoughts and memory of you. I can and will make you happy. And any sacrifice within the limits of human reason I’ll make that you may be happy. Just name it. Make your suggestion right now. And you’ll find me on the spot.

I have already planned that Bryan and Carlyle will be away for a year at least, knowing as I do know that that is absolutely necessary for their and for the good of the rest of the children.

With that arrangement and Florence under your sweet, motherly influence, I’m sure she’ll make a mighty good girl, And the rest of the children trained right. I know it. God doesn’t make mistakes.

Now my dear I’m going to proceed to give myself and you some right good advice. If ever such a feeling arises in your breast, or mine, As came in yours Sunday it must be crushed at its first appearance, and never be allowed one bit of expression. I did a grievous wrong in insisting upon your giving expression to that feeling Sunday, but I’ll never do it again. I know that that is the best way to kill it so it will never disturb us again. For I’m sure that it is as you suggest, From the devil who is seeking to thwart the purposes of God in trying to deceive you and make you believe a lie and be damned. But we’ll not be whipped not defeated, For God is on our side, and we must and shall win. But let us be on our guard against the thousand and on “infernal items” which may yet be thrown in our pathway to block our progress. Such as having our letters interfered with gossiping tongues, or the million other things that may be invented by the majesty and genius of Hell.

I’ve been studying and restudying your letter “A One” to me and I know, absolutely know that you were inspired by the Spirit of God to write me those sacred promises, They’re true beyond the shadow of a doubt and you’re mine because I love you. And God hath said so and you love me. I know you do. You never could have written that letter unless you did and do love me.

Now I want to send your letter to Albert when I write him and I don’t want you to object. Then he’ll know positively that the three all important requisites have been met – The certainty of inspiration, That I love you and that you love me. Now I’ve been making the Lord some mighty good big promises if He’ll only help me win you, Which I expect to, And then I know I’ll win. Now dear, if I take Florence and Carlyle to Richfield this week I feel that I must tell Emma’s folks about you And our plans as that is closely connected with my plans for the children. What do you say? Please answer every letter.

With Love

(signed) Jno.

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Hinckley, Utah 4-28-15

My Dear Mary:

Today brought no letter from you, so it seems that we are laboring under a misunderstanding again, For I certainly understood you were to write Monday, Tuesday and every day; But it occurs to me now that you must have understood to write only after you had received my letter. So I shall refuse to believe otherwise, Not be offended though I am sorely disappointed.

However, I’m sure tomorrow will bring the message my heart is so anxious to receive.

So today you will not expect much of a letter from me.

If you had heard the talk of the town Monday, you would doubtless have believed that it was some one else who was going to marry the tall man, for Florence said it kept her busy saying “don’t know” to all their questions. But that only makes me smile, how about you?

Tomorrow’s letter will likely bring you such startling information as to cause you to stagger, strangle and may even stifle and suffocate you. You may ask why I don’t write it today, But the fact is it is so immensely risky that I must wait to see what the nature of your message is tomorrow; Before I dare attempt it. So be prepared for anything that may happen.

I got the spirit and wrote a letter to your brother Albert last night, which I expected to send you today for your criticism before I mailed it. But that too must now await this absorbing consuming question now weighing heavily on my mind.

So til tomorrow I shall say good bye, dear,

With love,

(signed) John

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Mary & John Reeve Letters, No. 4

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Hinckley, Utah 4-19-15

My Sweetheart –

I am enclosing this to pay your R. R. fare to Hinckley. You will please not refuse it, for there are two very important reasons why I have a right to do so. First and most important of all is because of the sweet story I have, as it was written by your own hand; Second, because I would have spent this money in coming up to see you; But it is as you suggest more important for you to come down here.

Now, if you should ask me when to come down I would answer, next Friday or Saturday – and not a minute later. But of course, I will leave it to your own pleasure, Tho I sincerely hope your pleasure will be in harmony with mine.

You will doubtless think I have soon got ready for your visit, But you will discover that I will have done nothing that I expected to do; for among several things, I had planned to have done was having the walls and ceiling of the parlor painted, and the dining room papered; But couldn’t get the  material in time. So, if the first appearance doesn’t swamp you, I will feel sure of keeping you forever.

I have told my mother our whole story, which impresses her very much, especially is she puzzled over the sister Wilken story. For she doesn’t remember the name; Nor can she imagine how she got hold of that photo. So I will be intensely anxious to learn the story from your own lips.

To tell you the truth, dear, that beautiful message has made me feel so happy that I have had to tell it to some of my and your best friends. I read the letter to Edith Finlinson, and it would have done your heart good to have seen the tears roll down her cheeks as her heart swelled with happy emotion over our engagement; For she seemed to feel that you were nearly as fortunate as myself.

The more I think of it the more important it seems that you should come down; For not only could you see and we plan together our beginning, But relative to your visit etc. So please come. Get off the train at Delta. But be sure to answer this right back, So I may meet you and until I shall be privileged the happy pleasure of your presence I shall say Good bye. With the sweetest and kindest thoughts of you I remain very affectionately Yours

(signed) Jno

P.S. I have a very great curiousity to know the size of your third finger, Please send it by next post.

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Hinckley, Utah 4-21-15

My Dear Mary:

You will pardon me for writing so many letters, and especially registering this one. But the fact is this is the fourth letter I’ve written you and no reply, And if it is a fact that some one is tampering with our letters I may be out ten dollars, for that is what I sent Monday – two 5 dollar greenbacks.

I have another reason also for writing and that is I want to make the date of your visit definite; and that is for you to leave for here next Saturday on the morning train, Which arrives here about 2 p.m. Don’t fail to come. If, however it is impossible for you to come than wire me at my expense, right back telling me the date you will come. Also whether you received the remittance or not, Which as you know will remove a load of anxiety from my mind. For the P.M. on this end of the line will sure hear something drop, if you haven’t received my letters.

I may get a letter from you in the morning telling me you’ll be here Friday. If there isn’t one due here be Sure and wire me as I have suggested.

Of course your one letter is worth worlds to me so long as its contents remain true and I am sure they’ll remain true forever. But of course it is only natural for me to want you to reaffirm it frequently.

Now, my dear, I am living in the fond anticipation of meeting you next Saturday, Notwithstanding the fact that I am not unmindful of the magnitude of the undertaking it is for you; But if you’ll land I’ll endeavor to make every moment I’m with you as pleasant and happy as I know how.

As you are packing your suit case kindly slip in a photo, or two of thee Queen And remember don’t fail me, will you dear?

Very affectionately

(signed) John

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Provo, Utah April 20, 15

Mr. John Reeve,

Hinckley, Utah

Dear Brother Reeve,

It is not possible for me to answer all of your three letters within the last four days, Tho I’ll answer them as best I can in one letter. I had your answer all in my mind, When the one from Oak City came and then – there was a something in it that I could not quite see – don’t yet. But that’s all right I guess. But when the one came today. Well I felt better tho I was surprised to get it; But there’s so many things I want to say and I can’t write them; But I do hope you have not taken too literally my promise in the letter you received last week. I do not wish to recall it! Know! Indeed but I do think that my feelings for you are the deepest respect and shall I say veneration? Rather than the fierce love you may expect from me as coming only after a closer association with you. And I feel it will come I do not at all doubt that, And it gives me more to be grateful for, for you know that which is of quickest growth. Often is also of quickest death and I want to love you more the longer our lives are together and again dear I never expect you to love me as you did Sister Emma – No you couldn’t do that. – Love me as I deserve and merit and for my own sake – And it will help me in forging my way into and thru the gigantic problem life now presents to us ! Am I right!

Oh! I’ve said so many things about you – But only to myself. And here you’ve read to Edith that letter of mine – How could you? But I know without asking. But don’t do it again. And yet I suppose you felt as if you had to! Is that it?

Now about my finger – What are you up to? – without consultation with me? But the size of my ring on said finger is the exact size of this inside gilt border on this emblem – marked + on first page and there I’ve done your first wish, As regards to your second that of coming down. I phoned and it seems the train I must take will be Friday at 10:25 a.m. reaching Delta about 2 p.m. Answer back at once if I’m to be corrected. But say you know I am coming presumably to visit Bro Lon and Rose and my wishes in this must be respected, see! When I get there then maybe Rose will think it wise to interest herself in you! Do you see!

As regards those preparations you have delayed. What if the first appearance does swamp me? A good thing that we found it out in time! And the third finger better remain as it is. But I think I’m prepared for the worst and anticipate no serious breach. Tho the enormity of it all still cautions me to be very careful; And say dear that planning together you speak of – it suffocates me to think of it.

I’m glad you’ve told your mother about our head-long-haste – And Aunt Let Wilkins got the picture from among her mother’s things. She says she don’t know why except it was for me. She was just returning from St. George whither she had been with her mother’s remains and attending the funeral and she came up on the same train you did that Sunday morning, Said she saw you – Now do you see! I don’t know her mother’s name. I’ve sent the photo to my brother Albert, Together with your first communication and a letter of introduction.

May I expect a letter before I leave Friday in case there should be a miscarriage? Say dear use this envelope for the folks here are wondering about John Reeve and it takes so many lies and so much mental power to keep them from conflicting. We are leaving for the theatre – come and go! Well I’m must close. Here’s my escort now.

With best wishes and so on

(signed) Mary

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