Provo, Utah April 27, 1915
Dear Brother:
Arrived home safe and sound. Received your letter, Thank
you, perceive it was written because it was promised, Will write more soon
won’t you? I have not been to school yet. Expect to start tomorrow if all is
well; just been having a rest! Don’t worry!
Am glad you can sleep you haven’t shown the white feather!
I’m willing to take that for I know I deserve a far more severe reprimand than
you seem inclined to give! Wish you would, and I’d think more of you, -- For
when I’m at my worst I need a good sound tongue lashing – You’ve seen me at my
worst now. – Can you think me an angel in spite of such a weakness? I’m very
much humiliated at my conduct from the first – please forgive me!
As ever
(signed) Mary
(This letter written on a 2”x3” card both sides)
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Provo, Utah April 28, 1915
Mr. John Reeve
Hinckley,
Utah
Dear Brother Reeve:
Your letter of the 27th came today – Thank you so
much – What reparation can I make to you for my attitude Sunday? But I’ll not
doubt your love for me – And if I had your face here I’m quite sure I’d kiss it
and mean it. For you have proven you can meet my silly moods in such a way as
to very nearly show me how very babyish I am. For you have acted – as I should
have acted – But dear J.R. there is something I wish I could tell you, maybe I
can.
You are so magnanimous and in comparison I feel my actions
have been cowardly – And I don’t want to be that and so I want you to talk more
severely to me I need it. And it will help me to live above it. But that
something is still there and just as soon dear as I can convince myself that it
is “one of those infernal items” – I feel God being my helper I can over look
and be very much ashamed that I ever allowed it to have such importance as to
cause you a moments unhappiness. I believe dear if I had been well I could have
warded that off until we were better acquainted and then our visit together
could have been so much more profitable. And say dear J. R. I believe your
advice is sound, And I think I come nearer loving you because of it. And when
you tell me so earnestly that you love me and that God has given me to you. And
that I love you. It does mean something and I trust God to show me what it
means – When you say such things it leaves me feeling better – And I feel maybe
my mistake is in doubting its validity.
Now dear regarding those promises of yours, What are they? I
want to help you fulfill them you ought to know that much. – Whether it is love
or just keenest interest I cannot say. But you and your success; - to me means
much now, and I want to help you, - And win the love and confidence of the
children and your mother and the rest, for I feel this is my life’s mission now
– by you, with you, and for you, and yours, and no matter what it means to me I
feel that is right – tho at times I am crushed at the thot that I am so poorly
prepared for my task that it is torture to know what is my task? But dear it
may be that Satan is content to lay low till he sees some vital step and then
he places on his thumb screws and the distant goal is obscured by the present
pain – Oh! God! J.R. help me to steer my course straight regardless of what it
costs me!
Now dear if you come to Richfield I wish I could see you
again – can’t we arrange it somewhere between here and there. Write right back
and tell me all, So I can get some repose – do you know I’ve never known a
minute’s peace since I left you. Satan tells me it is my mistake in being so
easily disturbed, - But you, and shall I say such a nature as mine must meet
great disturbances to be disciplined properly and maybe during this period of
transition I must be tried in numerous ways. If you mean what you say, dear,
you’d be very glad you sent that letter yesterday – for it shapes my
forebodings better than I could myself – and I feel probably that God doesn’t
make mistakes and that He will help us, But you’ve no idea how weak I am. But
for your sake dear I’m going to make a great attempt to crush all this doubt
out and try to see only thru the eyes that will give me pleasure in my life
with you, to think of nothing that will detract from my happiness, and trust
God to keep me from being calloused and hardened in my effort to be brave – For
there is always you know danger in resignation. Now dear I must close – don’t
send my letter yet to Albert. There’s no hurry. Please write again at once.
I’ll try & get some sealing wax & send some, use it if I do. Please
write again and tell me if you are coming up as far as Richfield and then we’ll
decide what to tell the folks there. I haven’t been well since my return am
better today. God Bless you dear brother – and He will I know He will. With
best wishes and prayers for you
I am
(signed) Mary
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Hinckley, Utah, April 29, 1915
My dear Mary – “My cup runneth over,” “Hope sees a star,”
And today I’m very happy.
Your two letters came today, And I’m furnished again with
some very fine reading matter. Thank you very much.
Do you know what I’ve been doing for the last twenty four
hours? No, guess again. Give it up? Alright then I’ll tell you. I’ve been
making a psychological experiment, by assuming that I should not marry you. I
presented a long list of reasons, first physically disqualified, second natures
uncongenial, and a whole list of others to defend my position. Now what do you
think the effect of that imaginary battle was on my mind? Why I could almost
have given you up without even being disturbed. I wouldn’t think of trying such
an experiment again. What’s the lesson? A man becomes as he assumes as he
thinks, as he argues.
A long while ago, I used to take the villain’s part in our
dramatics, and don’t you know that I’d have been a full fledged villain by this
if I’d kept that up; But I swore off, and I told them I’d never take it again.
And I haven’t.
But hold on. I’m making and have been making a mountain out
of a molehill, and so I’ll stop, bury the hatchet, smoke the pipe of peace and
away we go.
Permit me to say that I am very sorry that you’ve been ill,
But hope and pray that ere this you are feeling well again.
Relative to the confidence of my mother I wish to say, you
need have no fear about that, For you have already made a profound impression
on her, for she told me this very day, She believed you to be a mighty fine
woman, and so do I.
Now, you may be curious to know about the letter I promised
yesterday. Well it is written. But it won’t be posted for awhile at least. The
fact is however, it is an advanced substitute for the proposed idea of our
meeting on this Richfield trip. However I’ll take it under very careful and
prayerful consideration, And if I decide to spring that on you rather than have
you come to Richfield Sunday I’ll write you to-morrow. Then you’ll know what to
do.
Relative to the promises, dear. I’ll tell you about those
when we meet. In the meantime please congratulate me on being the most
fortunate man in the world.
Very affectionately
(signed) John
P.S. I am sending my letter to Albert, Which please correct,
burn or send to him as you choose.
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Hinckley, Utah 4-28-15
My Dear Mary:
Now, for Yesterday’s promise. Brace up. “The woman who
hesitates is lost” so don’t hesitate, But agree with me quickly. “Jesus said,
whatsoever thou doest, do it quickly,” “Delays are dangerous” lest perchance
the “infernal items” seek to defeat righteous purposes. First let me quote from
letter “A1” again: “I had known that thing (that God ordained our marriage)
three days before, and had been happy in the knowledge of it.” Further, “my
longing to be with you now, and as you are to be my captain from now on, I
await your further orders, - It was a something beyond all of them that grips
my heart strings, and makes me say Yes to all your appeals, and I say it
feeling that the God of destiny has led our paths together.” “My whole life has
conspired toward this end.” “I am ready for your next move.” The climax of my
prayer and supplication came to me in the night – ‘that is your path now’.
Now, dear I shall doubly underline the passage that gives me
the indisputable right to say what I am now going to say: You will meet me, at
the Provo depot next Wednesday (May 5th) morning – same train as you
went upon, And go on to Salt Lake City with me, That we may be married in the
Temple, same day, if possible. And if you wish it, We can return same night or
next morning, You detrain at Provo, I come on home. Further details to be
arranged when we meet.
Now, please write and tell me you will not fail to meet me,
For you must come, or else I land in Provo Sunday morning to press my case, and
I’m sure you’d rather do that than to battle with me, For I’d win finally anyway
wouldn’t I?
Now, my dear, I don’t want to be arbitrary in this matter,
But I’m sure you can see that nothing can be gained by waiting any longer, And
perhaps a whole lot may be lost by unnecessary delays. And the stakes are too
great for us to take a chance on losing by delay. Don’t you think so?
Friday 30th
My Dear Mary:
You see that I have sent you the famous letter, But owing to
the fact that a fierce snow storm is now raging, my Richfield trip is delayed
to a point as would make it almost impossible for me to land Wednesday the 5th
So we’ll fix the date the 12th of May one week later. And if you are
disappointed by the delay, please remember I am doubly so.
Please let me quote one passage from yesterday’s letter.
“Satan is content to lay low till he sees some vital step and then he places on
his thumb screws and this distant goal is obscured by the present pain.” So my
dear sweetheart, I caution you to beware of his infernal “thumb screws” the
minute you read this letter – so beware! Beware don’t let him have one turn
even, for if he gets one, he’ll get another, and another and so on until you’ll
be inextricably bound, so beware and don’t let him, but yield to me please.
Notwithstanding, the fierce storm which is raging without,
inwardly the weather is beautiful – calm as a summer’s morning where the
flowers of hope are blooming, birds are singing, and the music of love is
filling the air, Because I’m living in a world with you, dear and it seems to
me I’m making you feel as happy as you are me, So as it is nearly mail time
I’ll close with the tenderest, sweetest wish for your present and eternal
happiness.
With Love, John
P.O. Please, dear, don’t delay, An answer to this on account
of my proposed trip to Richfield, as I may not go for several days. But I’ll
land back in time to fill the appointment. I’m going by team, and it takes 5
days to make the round trip. Say, Mary, any suggestion or assistance you can
render about the details of this big trip, Please don’t fail to mention it will
you?
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