Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Mary & John Reeve Letters, No. 5


Provo, Utah April 21st  1915

Mr. John Reeve,
            Hinckley, Utah

Dear Brother Reeve:

In my hurry last night I didn’t say half I wanted. But Aunt Emma came before I was thru. So I shall take your message to heart and write again. And if I should appear reticent or unresponsive attribute it to anything but my feelings in this respect. And yet I do not expect as much bliss as I wish I did, But really I feel the fault lies with me. For I realize all too keenly that God’s hands has had our case under consideration, And so I want by your assistance to be as appreciative as is possible, And trust that His finger will ever point out our path; But I’m afraid you overestimate my worth and I can’t see why you should. As I have been perfectly frank with you and it would crush my life out if after I have linked it with yours, That any such thing should happen as you cease to love me or be disappointed in me, - If it were infidelity or a kindred evil I’d never attempt to stand it, But for such as that, where I alone would be responsible I’d have to endure it in torture, - But I suppose I’m rather pessimistic regarding such things – Probably because of experience and my feeling that a happy marriage was not for me. But shall I switch into line and change the subject. But I feel intuitively you are one of God’s noblemen and that He has greatly complimented me by throw our paths together and I try to be not ungrateful! And I am satisfied that whatever we decide to do will be right!

Regarding these bills – Why did you do it. You take an undue advantage of me and yet I feel you are right. Tho if it had ever been anyone else I could not take it kindly. But we’ll talk about that later! If you do meet me don’t you dare remember I’m anything but an acquaintance, - and then, - I may forget it myself soon enough – do you see! As regards your getting ready for my coming – think it is better as it is – for I want to see it all; And a Divine power sustains me, even tho conditions may be rather discouraging.

No one here with two exceptions know a thing about this, even here at home I tell them I’m going to Salt Lake Friday and they don’t suspect a thing, Strange I don’t want to sing it on the housetops isn’t it! Saturday one has so many loose ends to catch up – But I kept a watch outside and when the mail was in sight I let him put the letter – somehow I knew it was for me – just inside the door, And I forgot how weary I was and I thot of David Copperfield and his dora! And Monday I caught the carrier again. But I was not expecting one yesterday and Mrs. Speckhart remarked about John Reeve being a good writer. But said she could tell there were bills in it And then I told her you were making a purchase thru me and she subsided. So you see deception is a vice you hadn’t reckoned on in me isn’t it! And when I read the thing over, I wonder if Edith isn’t half right. If I’m not rather fortunate. You certainly seem to know just how to understand what and how I feel and so very few do, - And now I shall be pleased to come – But if I am more quiet than you expect don’t take exceptions to it. And don’t doubt sincerity!

Now I must close, Give my love to your mother and as I leave here at 10:25 a.m. Friday if you can’t get me a letter by Friday morning don’t send any and I’ll try and stand it till I see you at 2 pm in Delta. Wish you’d tell me just how you are getting along with everything! Just now got a letter from Sister Rose saying she’d be so pleased to have me make headquarters there while I am in Hinckley, Shall write her at once. Shall say good bye now and with best and kindest wishes.

As Ever
(signed) Mary


Hinckley, Utah 4-26-15

My dear Mary,

Something about the last twenty minutes! Of my visit with you affected me to the extent of producing sleep for I slept nearly all the way home.

This morning I was instructing the children as to what to say to any question concerning Sister Lyman’s presence that they don’t know one thing. Fred said, “me do”. I said to myself, I wish I knew. I thot I did up till yesterday. But now it seems that I know that I don’t know. However, as long as I feel that I have God on my side I’m not going to show the white feather; For I intend to keep up a continuous battle against the “infernal items”.

As long as I can keep back the thots of our yesterday’s association up till the few minutes before I said goodbye, I feel fine. But how they do crowd into my mind as I am trying to write this letter. And of course I shouldn’t write them, For I said my say last night, And I don’t know what else I can say, For it seems to me now, That the say is all left with you and I shall feverishly await tomorrow’s message from you.

Harold Bell Wright makes one of his characters say, “Somethings, thank God, are beyond the damning power of man’s improvement to improve.” Now, my dear sister let us assume, (But Oh No! We don’t have to assume) that God did fore ordain that we should march together in this grand matrimonial march, how could it be improved by canceling it? But say what’s the use of arguing that point? You can’t doubt it, No one, In the face of the evidence, could it seems to me. And yet as I try to recall anything you have said or written I can’t remember one single statement you have made doubting the divinity of the call; But in every case you seem so positive of its being divine.

I am hoping that tomorrow’s mail will bring the message my heart is longing to receive. So till then let me say good bye. And may the Spirit of God whisper to your soul the very message you should send me.

Very affectionately I am yours sincerely
(Signed) J. R.


Hinckley, Utah 4-27-15

My Dear Mary:

Your letter came not today, and how I can write another without a line from you I don’t know, But true to my promise to you I’ll try.

In the first place I have your written promise that you will be my wife, and it is that promise and that alone that sustains me, Gives me hope, courage, and an unyielding determination not to give you up. I am sublimely happy in your presence, and in the thoughts and memory of you. I can and will make you happy. And any sacrifice within the limits of human reason I’ll make that you may be happy. Just name it. Make your suggestion right now. And you’ll find me on the spot.

I have already planned that Bryan and Carlyle will be away for a year at least, knowing as I do know that that is absolutely necessary for their and for the good of the rest of the children.

With that arrangement and Florence under your sweet, motherly influence, I’m sure she’ll make a mighty good girl, And the rest of the children trained right. I know it. God doesn’t make mistakes.

Now my dear I’m going to proceed to give myself and you some right good advice. If ever such a feeling arises in your breast, or mine, As came in yours Sunday it must be crushed at its first appearance, and never be allowed one bit of expression. I did a grievous wrong in insisting upon your giving expression to that feeling Sunday, but I’ll never do it again. I know that that is the best way to kill it so it will never disturb us again. For I’m sure that it is as you suggest, From the devil who is seeking to thwart the purposes of God in trying to deceive you and make you believe a lie and be damned. But we’ll not be whipped not defeated, For God is on our side, and we must and shall win. But let us be on our guard against the thousand and on “infernal items” which may yet be thrown in our pathway to block our progress. Such as having our letters interfered with gossiping tongues, or the million other things that may be invented by the majesty and genius of Hell.

I’ve been studying and restudying your letter “A One” to me and I know, absolutely know that you were inspired by the Spirit of God to write me those sacred promises, They’re true beyond the shadow of a doubt and you’re mine because I love you. And God hath said so and you love me. I know you do. You never could have written that letter unless you did and do love me.

Now I want to send your letter to Albert when I write him and I don’t want you to object. Then he’ll know positively that the three all important requisites have been met – The certainty of inspiration, That I love you and that you love me. Now I’ve been making the Lord some mighty good big promises if He’ll only help me win you, Which I expect to, And then I know I’ll win. Now dear, if I take Florence and Carlyle to Richfield this week I feel that I must tell Emma’s folks about you And our plans as that is closely connected with my plans for the children. What do you say? Please answer every letter.

With Love
(signed) Jno.


Hinckley, Utah 4-28-15

My Dear Mary:

Today brought no letter from you, so it seems that we are laboring under a misunderstanding again, For I certainly understood you were to write Monday, Tuesday and every day; But it occurs to me now that you must have understood to write only after you had received my letter. So I shall refuse to believe otherwise, Not be offended though I am sorely disappointed.

However, I’m sure tomorrow will bring the message my heart is so anxious to receive.

So today you will not expect much of a letter from me.

If you had heard the talk of the town Monday, you would doubtless have believed that it was some one else who was going to marry the tall man, for Florence said it kept her busy saying “don’t know” to all their questions. But that only makes me smile, how about you?

Tomorrow’s letter will likely bring you such startling information as to cause you to stagger, strangle and may even stifle and suffocate you. You may ask why I don’t write it today, But the fact is it is so immensely risky that I must wait to see what the nature of your message is tomorrow; Before I dare attempt it. So be prepared for anything that may happen.

I got the spirit and wrote a letter to your brother Albert last night, which I expected to send you today for your criticism before I mailed it. But that too must now await this absorbing consuming question now weighing heavily on my mind.

So til tomorrow I shall say good bye, dear,

With love,
(signed) John


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